Does the ad affect us?

While driving down the road on Friday, I noticed a handwritten sign on the island next to the light where I was waiting (the avarage American spends two weeks of their lives stopped at red lights...what a waste). The sign was handwritten, (poorly I might add) and it advertised a house for sale. As I looked at the sign I thought, that house is probably a terrible little run down shanty on the worst street in Houston.

The light changed and I drove away.

At the next light I look up and see a billboard on the 45 that is advertising Remax and it says in bold letters: SOLD! I thought, Remax sales awesome houses, look at their sign.

As I rolled away from the light, I was suddenly struck by the thought: Kevin, you have no idea about the house with the handwritten ad and you have no idea about the house that is proclaimed by $10k billboards. The truth is you have never looked at the inside of the house, spoken with anyone who knows the house, researched who built the house...truthfully, you have judged the house by standards that do not tell the real story. You have allowed someone to influence your opinion based soley on their "advertisment". After all, is it not possible that the handwritten ad could be offering the finest home in Houston? Is it not feasible that Remax may sale a run down shanty on the worse street in Houston?

I am convicted. God, please continue to convict me when I judge someone or something without understanding of that person or thing. Forgive me when I judge based on "advertisement".

Someone placed both of those ads in my world and I allowed what that person placed in my world to affect my thinking about the house. Even though I did not really know or understand the house.

I want to love God and love others like never before. I want to present myself and others to God. Period. No preconcieved ideas, explanations or excuses. When someone places an "ad" in my world, I want to ignore the ad and get to know the truth.

I also want to know God like never before. I have promised God that I will study His word and know him for myself. I will not allow the "ads" that have been placed in my life to tell the story...I will research, question, study, learn and love His word for myself.

The truth is that God Made me and He has plenty of Grace and Mercy to save me. He left me an instruction manual that has EVERYTHING I need to know in it and he wants me to learn it for myself. I will not look at the advertising, will not be sold by the commercial, the facade...I know that you made all of us and you have given me Your word. That is really all I need to know.

Today, I will ignore the ads!

22 Years

Well here I am on Mexicana airlines. Headed to Isla Majeres with my chick and two awesome friends. Celebrating 22 years of wedded bliss to my soul mate.

Wedded bliss? What is that? Well in my life that has been interesting.

We have had money, no money, plans dreams, no plans or dreams.

We have had quiet moments of wonderful reflection and we have had some louder moments of sincere discussion…

We have celebrated the births of three beautiful girls, experienced fear during one of those, experienced unbelievable joy during all three (well at least I did, maybe not so much for Julie).

We have been thin and young. Now I am old and fat.

We have been on every diet known to man…grapefruit? Seriously? What was I thinking? I have gained and lost at least two of myself.

Julie has maintained an incredible workout schedule for at least 20 of these years and it shows. She is smoking!!!

I have chased every dream I ever had and she has supported all those endeavors.

We dream together…5 kids, Fortune 500 company, Mansions, land, pool (still working on that one), Harley’s, RV’s, summer homes, lake houses, Colorado (that is going to happen)

We love our friends. We have been blessed with many and each has a special place and time of influence

We have experienced babies, toddlers, adolescents and teenagers…wow we wish they came with a manual.

We have experienced Christ in an incredible way. Growing everyday and realizing two things about Him: There is so much too know and He loves us way more than we could ever love Him

We love our church. Life…thanks, thanks for loving us, accepting us and influencing our lives toward knowing who He really is

We are thankful for every spiritual influence He has sent our way. We are thankful for every experience and the knowledge and influence of each

We are thankful for godly parents

We travel. We work really hard to pay for trip.

We love big Christmas. We work really hard to pay for big Christmas.

We like quality food and incredible ambiance (for you Scott).

We work really hard to pay for quality food and ambiance.

We like to give our kids cool stuff

We work really hard to pay for cool stuff…I think I see a trend here.

We do have a trend…we committed to the task of commitment. When you commit to that, it does not release or protect you from bumps and bruises.

It does not remove every obstacle.

It does not remove every hurt.

It does not remove every temptation.

It does mean that no matter what happens, at the end of the day we will NOT go to sleep being mad at one another (been some long nights in the Gary house (for you Denise))

It does mean that we will learn what it means to love one another and we learn something new everyday

It does mean that we will learn what it takes to raise the children God gave us.

It means we have entered His kingdom and we will be an asset to His kingdom (for you Royce, see I do listen)

It also means that we will make mistakes trying.

It also means we have to admit those mistakes

It means we will dance (huh girls?)

It means we will fall

It means we will get up

22 years and on our way to Isla Mujeres. Daughters that have accepted the responsibility of taking care of things (their little baby angel), friends that will be with us, friends that will be there if the girls need them, parents who will assist and God who will protect all of us.

22 years of dreaming

22 years and no bitterness

22 years, and we have no enemies (if you consider us an enemy, please forgive us and don’t tell us)

22 years of success

22 years of failure

22 years of love

22 years of DANCING!

My hope and prayer for each of you is this same life…I would not change a thing!

Go out today and DANCE!

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder

You get your fill to eat

But always keep that hunger

May you never take one single breath for granted

God forbid love ever leave you empty handed

I hope you still feel small

When you stand by the ocean

Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens

Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance

2010

As we begin 2010, I am reminded of New Year’s resolutions. On December 31, I heard, “I hope that my family draws closer to God this year”. Immediately upon hearing this, I began to feel unrest, curiosity, conviction and motivation. “Closer to God?” What does that mean? How do you measure that? Yes, I feel the same way! Yes, my life’s desire is to be closer to God. Yes, I want to have the same goal for 2010. However, is this statement just empty words that cause my friends to believe that I am somehow spiritual? Is it empty words that sooth my conscience and make me feel more spiritual?

The curiosity has fueled my search for what it means to “draw closer to God”. Jesus said “love me and love others”. Can I measure that? He left many answers in His word. Obviously, the answer is yes…therein lies my resolution for 2010. Yes, I accept the challenge to “draw closer to God”, and this is my prayer.

God, help me as I study your word and try to implement the fruits of the Spirit in my life. Reveal to me your unfailing mercy and grace as I try to understand and extend the same to others. Assist me as I struggle with selfishness and judgment. Remind me that You are the judge, You are the jury and You have instructed me to “love”. Give me direction as I try to follow You. Can I accept those that do not look like I expect them to look? You did. Can I love those that smell, judge, are rude, cut me off in traffic, slow me down in traffic, do me wrong, judge me, talk about me, ridicule me, don’t provide the level of service that I expect...? You did.

I really want to exhibit love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and temperance. I really want to love Him with all my heart, soul, mind and strength. I really want to love my neighbor as myself. I really want to do all those things; however, I must first understand what these things mean and how they are truly applied. On December 31, 2010, I will be able to measure my success in achieving new years resolutions. Do I understand more about what it means to “draw closer to God” and have I applied this understanding?

My Birthday

Today I celebrate 16,060 days of existence on this great planet. The day started with my wonderful girls (all 4 of them) singing to me and telling me they were proud of me. Spent time at lunch with special friends while enjoying Greek Salad and shrimp (no Irma’s). Awesome!! Came home to one of my favorite meals (with chocolate cake) and spent time enjoying the artwork and love of my girls.

I have received countless birthday wishes. As I began to reflect on those, I realized all over again how blessed I am. I have heard from people who have been friends since we moved to Houston when I was less than two years old. Heard from people who have become friends during this last year and acquaintances made in between.

Spent the day working in the office so I had the opportunity to reflect on every person as the birthday wishes came in. I remembered how every person has affected me in some way. With some, many memories have been made. With others, we have just started making memories. I think I am getting older (although I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up) because I get so sentimental when I realize how much those influences have molded me into the person I am today.

I am truly thankful for every experience and every memory and my prayer is that my influence will create memories for those around me that will make them smile as they have made me smile today. Now my girls have granted me one last birthday wish…control of the remote. Can anyone say Monday Night Football!!!!

My Mom

Mom,

Happy Mothers Day!

I have often thought about what I would say if I was ever asked to speak at a Mother Daughter Banquet and how I would say it without bawling like a little girl the whole time.

I would talk about Mary, the Mother of Jesus. I think about Mary and what type of lady she must have been. Knowing that so many attributes in our lives are displayed in the actions of our children, I consider her attributes. When I begin to think about those attributes my mind always goes back to you and how your life must resemble the life of Mary.

Caring – Jesus was so compassionate. He always made every situation better. He stopped and healed the sick; he took time for those who were not accepted by others, he handled disputes in a way that resulted in win-win, he taught and led and example. Jesus loved His children so much that He paid the ultimate price so they could experience undeserved Grace. He Cared! Mary must have really cared for those she came in contact with.
Mom, I have watched you for many years and I know you like few others do. You have stopped in the restroom and provided a damp washcloth, a gentle rub and a prayer while Tammye and I were so sick we thought we would not live. I have also seen you take the same care and compassion with kids that were not even yours. I have watched you be the Peacemaker in our family and in the lives of others. You have an incredible ability to say the right thing so a situation will calm. Tammye and I were close when we were younger and still are to this day. That is because our Mom worked hard to keep our family united. I have heard many people tell me they loved to stop by your office at the church and have “little talks” with Ma Gary. You teach everyone you come in contact with and you never want anyone to feel left out. You have always wanted to help everyone you can. You paid a great price to work in God’s Kingdom and make a difference. While others pursued successful careers, you worked to make a difference in the lives of a bunch of crazy kids. We all experience Grace today, in part because you were there to point us in that direction. I cannot think of anyone who cares for people anymore than you.

Organized – Mary must have been incredibly organized. She also had to possess incredible training skills. She was responsible for the Savior of the world. He had to be trained properly. He had to understand right from wrong; he would be tempted in every way after all. He needed to be responsible. He had to accept the consequences of His actions. When He could have called 10,000 angels, he accepted the responsibility that was ultimately His.
When Dad told me I could go to Florida with the youth but my car would set in the driveway with a busted engine. You could have persuaded him otherwise but you understood that there would come a day when Dad would not be there to bail me out and I needed to know responsibility. You set up at night waiting on Tammye and I to get home and then you would spend time listening to our lives and offering training so we would be prepared to face life. You have always had your “list” and I must admit that The List has made a difference in our lives. You never told us we had to have a list but you led by example and now my life sometimes (a lot of times) seems out of control and I refer to “My List” to get it under control. Many times I have been called to accept responsibility for my actions. You never tried to use position or influence to change the consequences. Instead you stood beside me, helped me, loved me and offered direction that would detour me from those actions in the future.

Enabler– Mary knew when He needed to be gently pushed. She also knew when it was time to step back and allow Him to be about His Fathers business. Looking back, I see many times that you could have diverted problems because you knew the outcome would be different than I expected. You knew it was time to step back. Wow, that must have been so hard! (I have kids now…) Because of those times, I have been able to learn invaluable life lessons. There have been times that you have made gentle suggestions and you have always encouraged me to pursue my legend. Mary enabled her Son to a point that He felt He could accomplish anything He set His mind to. And He was the greatest man that ever lived. Mom you have always made me feel like I could conquer the world if I set my mind to it.

Godly – Mary must have been the most godly lady on the face of the Earth. In fact, she was so godly that she was chosen to bear and raise the Savior of the entire world. I have been blessed to have a Mom that is an incredible example of what it means to be a Christ-follower. I have watched your life and learned how to love my enemies, forgive, keep silent (although some would say this is still a work in progress), walk away when it is best and most importantly, develop a relationship with God. “If you can’t say something nice do not say anything”, how many times? Kevin, do not say that. Kevin, treat others like you want to be treated. Bubb, you have to learn to control your temper and your tongue. Kevin, stand tall and be proud of what you are. Bubb, is that the way you really feel? Kevin, act like Jesus himself is in the room with you and base your actions on that. I know how to conduct myself in a Christ-like fashion because you led me by example.

Mom, I am certain that Mary was a very special and Godly lady. I am also certain that you and Mary have a lot in common except I think you would be a better Mom. Everyday I think about you and Dad and I hope that I am making you proud. I love you and I am so proud to call you my mother. Happy Mothers Day!

Ashton

Wow! Ashton you are turning 15 tomorrow. I remember when you promised me you would be 5 forever. "Really Daddy I will always be your 5 YEARS old". Well, you are no longer 5 but you still have the same smile that you had then and you still light up my day, everyday. No matter how bad my day has been, when I come home you always come running, smiling and telling me you love me. Really lets me know that everything is going to be ok.

We have a big date tomorrow night and I will do my best to explain to you the importance of Commitment. Being committed to God first and foremost. While planning this, I started thinking about your story and why I think God has BIG plans for you....not far into your life Mom began to have complications. Seems you were really anxious to enter the world. 26 weeks into your life, your Mom and I were at anniversary services for Pastor & Mrs. McClain. Your Mom sang a beautiful song in the service and in the middle of serving family and friends I was told that something happened to your Mom. We rushed to the emergency room and they immediately began trying to persuade you to refrain from being born. I overheard a phone conversation when the nurse told the doctor that she did not think she could stop the birth and she was afraid that the doctor would not make it in time. Scared. Due to the incredible work of the doctor and staff, you were convinced to wait a little bit before changing our world.

I remember watching your Mom over the next three weeks. She was on complete bed-rest because the doctor had told us you could not come into this world until your lungs had a chance to develop more. They gave your Mother a shot every week that took 5 minutes to complete. The entire time they were administering the shot she had to remain completely still. I remember tears rolling down her face because of the pain, but she never moved. This shot was to help develop your lungs faster so you could make your World Premiere. The shot also made you Mother very hot and everyone who came to visit wore a jacket because her room was freezing.

After a couple weeks, we made the decision that I should start staying at home more because Amanda was young and did not understand why her parents were not with her. One night your mom called me numerous times saying that the baby was about to be born. Based on data coming from the contraction monitor, her fears seemed unfounded. At shift change the nurse completed an examination only to learn that mom was indeed about to give birth. I remember the phone call very clearly, "Kevin, Julie is about to have the baby and we will not be able to stop it this time, please Hurry".

After leaving Amanda with Mamaw & Pawpaw and rushing to Labor & Delivery, I immediately ask about you and your mom. The nurse just handed me a set of scrubs and explained that she could not tell me anything. I went into a dark cold room to change clothes and I remember feeling more alone than I have ever felt in my life. After changing, I was escorted down a long dark hallway that was very quiet. Escorted from the serenity of this hallway thru a door and into controlled chaos. You had indeed made your first premiere. There were nurses and doctors running everywhere and in the middle of the room there was an operating table with Mom laying on it. I went to her to make sure she was okay and she directed my attention to the corner of the room where my new little Ashie was being attended by numerous Medical personnel. I walked over and looked at my new darling and I immediately begin to think about how I would tell Julie that our new baby did not live. You were so tiny and almost transparent looking. I could see your veins and you were INCREDIBLY small (two pounds). Miraculously, you made it into the stage 3 neonatal unit. This is where you began to receive your pampered treatment. Your bed and 24 hr. nurse cost over $750 per day! You were under a sunlamp and covered by a special wrap. Youngest customer ever to attend day spa!

At first report, the doctor began to explain that you would have head bleeds (born natural and breech) and they could be very dangerous. The doctor explained that these head bleeds could cause Cerebral Palsy and it would be two weeks before we knew about the severity of them. There were wires and tubes everywhere. Your little hands were so small that they could not put a needle into them. You IV had to be inserted into your foot. Your life was hanging in the balance and your Mom and I learned what it meant to be really really scared.

During this time, Pastor McClain had our entire church praying. All our family and friends everywhere were praying. As this premiere continued, we began to feel a peace like I have never known before or since. I think this was God's way of telling your Mom and I not to worry, He had BIG plans for you.

Everyday we would go to the hospital and observe you as you received the Royal Treatment. You were indeed a celebrity. One day the doctor called before we arrived at the hospital and asked us to come immediately. There had been a problem. We soon learned that the vein carrying your medication had ruptured and caused a burn behind your knee, from the inside out. Plastic surgery on a baby doll requires incredible skill and God directed the surgeon to repair you good as new. You have a scar on the back of your leg. Another reminder that God has His hand on you and He has BIG plans for you.

On the day you were born, we noticed a smudge on your shoulder. We thought it was dried blood that the nurse had failed to clean. To our amazement, we learned all about hemangioma. Turns out this "dried blood" was hemangioma that continued to grow. We learned that you have hemangioma in your liver. As you grow they become evident in a number of areas on your body. The doctor had some concern about the ones located in your liver so you had extensive testing and they decided that these would be okay if we watched them.

The day we brought you home from the hospital we were so happy! You were very very little and it took you a couple years to catch up to cousin Kasey. The doctor told us to be prepared for an independent young lady. He said that they place a baby on it's Mothers chest immediately after birth so the baby will feel the heartbeat and know Mom is still there. You were not able to experience that. You had to fight on your own and therefore would be very independent and maybe even a little bit of a loner. I am with him on the independent, you would not let us do anything for you as a child, but the loner tag doesn't really apply although you do enjoy your quite time. As you grew, there have been numerous trips to the hospital. One time you were so sick that you were placed in a tent. Again, you could not have a normal visit to the hospital, it had to be a camping trip....

Tubes were installed, Tonsils were removed, hemangioma were removed and eventually a broken leg. Trying to get a cookie, you twist violently and slide off the counter. The doctor puts a cast on that goes to your hip. He explains that the high cast is necessary so that you will not be able to walk. Your Mom and I explain that he does not know you! He says trust me I know what I am doing.....that afternoon you were RUNNING on the cast. Like WE said, he did not know you. After that, you go running to the door to tell Mommy bye, hit the corner and immediately get stitches in you forehead. See, all these things happening to you and you are still alive. I told you God has big plans for you!

Teeth are coming in and to our surprise they are missing an essential element...ENAMEL. Trip after trip to the dentist for special treatment on the toothage. Talk about pampered princess! The missing enamel is the only result of all the morphine that you received as a baby. God is good! When your adult teeth came in, they were fine.

I remember laying in bed at night and waiting on you to come in. You would walk up to the bed in you "shorts like daddy's" and t-shirt. You would tell me to close my eyes and then you would take off your t-shirt (it was ok to see you w/o shirt but not okay to watch you undress). You wanted to look like daddy! You would then crawl in bed beside me so we could snuggle-up. The only one of my girls that really likes to snuggle. I loved those moments! They passed way to quickly and they do not come often enough now.

Remember you starring in a fashion show as a little girl (well I thought you were the star) and being scared. We developed our little sign to let you know all would be ok. Thumbs up and a wink! It is still going to be ok, Daddy will always be there.

As you started school, a hearing problem was discovered. Instead of making this an excuse for you, we went to all your teachers and explained your situation. We asked them to set you in front of the room (more preferential treatment for the princess) so you would be able to hear. We asked them to be sure you were looking at them when they spoke to you. We also asked them to never tell you that there was a problem. We knew you could overcome because we had witnessed your ability to overcome your entire life. When you were 12 the doctor finally felt like your ear insides had matured enough that he could perform surgery and repair the problem. Your Mom and I searched for the best possible doctor. After finding him, we visited him a number of times to be sure. He told us about the chance that you could never hear out of that ear again. We prayed and experienced fear all over again. I remember the doctor coming into recovery after the surgery and tapping on the large cone they had placed on your ear. As he tapped, he asked if you could hear it? You said yes! The doctor turned to us and said "it was successful. There is no way she would have heard that before". God is so good.

You, Amanda and I will always share a special Colorado story! "beeeeeppppp ......................."

Our dates are so much fun. You obviously are not my "5 years old" anymore but you are and will always be Daddy's little bitty. As I watch you grow into a young lady and I see your personality develop, I continue to be thankful that you are kind, considerate, compassionate and loving. I love our "life lesson" talks. You have stretched me and enriched me in ways that you will never know. We still have many trails to traverse and paths to follow. I look forward to each. I will always be committed to stand beside you. No matter what happens, we will face it together!!! I am so proud of the lady you are becoming. Remember our conversation tomorrow night and stay committed to God, yourself and your family. Most of all, Dance!