My Dad

Today my Dad turns 71. Woke up this morning remembering many things about him and smiling. I started thinking about the things my Dad taught me and decided to write some of them down so my kids and grandkids will have an awareness of how awesome Pawpaw Gary really is.

First of all, he taught me. This morning I started recalling our “truck talks”. Dad went very few places that he did not take me. We went everywhere together and when Dad needed to teach me, it was usually in the truck riding somewhere. During these talks he would say ”son, while I teach you I try to remember what my dad told me when I was your age”. Dad, just this week I had a teaching moment with Amanda. Guess what, I tried to remember what you told me. Those “truck talks” are something I cherish and I refer to them often as I try to be the person that you raised me to be.

Dad taught me to be a Christ-follower. He never told me how I should communicate with God but he showed me the value of a personal relationship with Him. Although he was big and strong and tougher than everyone else’s dad, I watched many times as he wept while communicating in his way. I don’t communicate that same way my dad did and my dad would never expect me to; however, I do communicate with Christ and I know the importance of it because of the example my dad set. We are on a journey to discover who Christ is and my dad has encouraged me to question and study. My dad, at 71, is so open to the things of God and he is not afraid to be honest and transparent. He will never know how much that has meant to me the last few years.

Dad taught me to Serve. No one knows the countless hours dad served others. Funny that he has always been known as a loud, tough, no-nonsense man’s man. I watched him come home day after day, eat dinner, load all his tools in the truck and go serve. The church he attended was blessed immeasurably by his “maintenance skills”. He worked for widows and those that were in need. Many times he did all this work without any chance of ever being paid for it. I watched as mom and dad decided that mom would Serve instead of building a career. For many years mom worked for the church and dad never complained that she could be making more if she pursued a public job. Recently my dad’s pastor sent me a picture of dad working at the church, at 70, and the caption said; “Kevin, you have some big shoes to fill”. You are right Nate, dad is teaching me to Serve.

Dad taught me to win. “Never give up. Never quit. I don’t care what the score is, give it everything you have got.” I am competitive. I refuse to accept anything less than winning. I was in the 5^th grade and we were having a sales contest, selling ads for our yearbook. The prize was great and I wanted it so bad. I went out to the local business in the neighborhood determined to sale more ads than anyone. After a couple of refusals, I went home ready to give up on life. Dad stopped and we had our first talk about not giving up. I went back out with a new determination to succeed. I won that contest and that same tenacity has carried me my entire life. Every sales contest I have won, every order that I have secured, every sales success that I have enjoyed…at least some part of that success came because Dad taught me how to win.

Dad taught me to lose. I remember performing poorly on a particular test. When dad came home he asked me about this test. I fearfully told him that I did not win on this one. Dad asked me one question that has shaped my life and the way I teach my children even today. He said; “did you do your best”? I learned something that day. I learned that it is okay, not acceptable but okay, to lose, if you do your best. He taught me to smile and congratulate those that beat me in sports or sales or life. He did not teach me to enjoy it, he did not teach me to be satisfied with it but he did teach me to understand losing and learn from it.

Dad taught me how to treat my family. I never heard my dad scream at his family. Tough, rigid, strict, hard…yeah maybe some know that side of him. I know the side that said son, life is not easy, you are going to face tough decisions. I am going to do everything in my power to prepare you to face those decisions and do the right thing. I also know that no matter what, my dad is there for me. He was a very busy man with incredible responsibility and many people under his direction. He told me, “son, if you need me, call me. Anytime day or night, call me and I will stop what I am doing and be there for you. He still says the same thing and I have watched time and time again as he has been there for us.

Dad taught me to work. When he loaded those tool boxes into the truck, he loaded me in as well. How many toilets have we unstopped? How many roofs have we completed? How many houses did we paint? Wow! We worked. In fact, just yesterday, we removed a tile floor from his kitchen. He stayed right there with me all day. My dad is a worker. We were working for Mr. Holderfeld and we ran into an issue that puzzled dad. He told me that we should back off and think about it. During that next week he called me and said, “son I figured it out….” Many many times in my life, I have ‘backed off’ and figured it out. “Son, if you think about it long enough, you will figure out how to get anything done.” I now work with a life coach and last week he asked me to list my greatest strength. I listed resourcefulness. My dad is the reason for that.

Dad taught me many other things that I can't even begin to recall right now; however, they always seem to come to mind just when I need them the most. Dad I love you and I thank you for teaching me.

Does the ad affect us?

While driving down the road on Friday, I noticed a handwritten sign on the island next to the light where I was waiting (the avarage American spends two weeks of their lives stopped at red lights...what a waste). The sign was handwritten, (poorly I might add) and it advertised a house for sale. As I looked at the sign I thought, that house is probably a terrible little run down shanty on the worst street in Houston.

The light changed and I drove away.

At the next light I look up and see a billboard on the 45 that is advertising Remax and it says in bold letters: SOLD! I thought, Remax sales awesome houses, look at their sign.

As I rolled away from the light, I was suddenly struck by the thought: Kevin, you have no idea about the house with the handwritten ad and you have no idea about the house that is proclaimed by $10k billboards. The truth is you have never looked at the inside of the house, spoken with anyone who knows the house, researched who built the house...truthfully, you have judged the house by standards that do not tell the real story. You have allowed someone to influence your opinion based soley on their "advertisment". After all, is it not possible that the handwritten ad could be offering the finest home in Houston? Is it not feasible that Remax may sale a run down shanty on the worse street in Houston?

I am convicted. God, please continue to convict me when I judge someone or something without understanding of that person or thing. Forgive me when I judge based on "advertisement".

Someone placed both of those ads in my world and I allowed what that person placed in my world to affect my thinking about the house. Even though I did not really know or understand the house.

I want to love God and love others like never before. I want to present myself and others to God. Period. No preconcieved ideas, explanations or excuses. When someone places an "ad" in my world, I want to ignore the ad and get to know the truth.

I also want to know God like never before. I have promised God that I will study His word and know him for myself. I will not allow the "ads" that have been placed in my life to tell the story...I will research, question, study, learn and love His word for myself.

The truth is that God Made me and He has plenty of Grace and Mercy to save me. He left me an instruction manual that has EVERYTHING I need to know in it and he wants me to learn it for myself. I will not look at the advertising, will not be sold by the commercial, the facade...I know that you made all of us and you have given me Your word. That is really all I need to know.

Today, I will ignore the ads!

22 Years

Well here I am on Mexicana airlines. Headed to Isla Majeres with my chick and two awesome friends. Celebrating 22 years of wedded bliss to my soul mate.

Wedded bliss? What is that? Well in my life that has been interesting.

We have had money, no money, plans dreams, no plans or dreams.

We have had quiet moments of wonderful reflection and we have had some louder moments of sincere discussion…

We have celebrated the births of three beautiful girls, experienced fear during one of those, experienced unbelievable joy during all three (well at least I did, maybe not so much for Julie).

We have been thin and young. Now I am old and fat.

We have been on every diet known to man…grapefruit? Seriously? What was I thinking? I have gained and lost at least two of myself.

Julie has maintained an incredible workout schedule for at least 20 of these years and it shows. She is smoking!!!

I have chased every dream I ever had and she has supported all those endeavors.

We dream together…5 kids, Fortune 500 company, Mansions, land, pool (still working on that one), Harley’s, RV’s, summer homes, lake houses, Colorado (that is going to happen)

We love our friends. We have been blessed with many and each has a special place and time of influence

We have experienced babies, toddlers, adolescents and teenagers…wow we wish they came with a manual.

We have experienced Christ in an incredible way. Growing everyday and realizing two things about Him: There is so much too know and He loves us way more than we could ever love Him

We love our church. Life…thanks, thanks for loving us, accepting us and influencing our lives toward knowing who He really is

We are thankful for every spiritual influence He has sent our way. We are thankful for every experience and the knowledge and influence of each

We are thankful for godly parents

We travel. We work really hard to pay for trip.

We love big Christmas. We work really hard to pay for big Christmas.

We like quality food and incredible ambiance (for you Scott).

We work really hard to pay for quality food and ambiance.

We like to give our kids cool stuff

We work really hard to pay for cool stuff…I think I see a trend here.

We do have a trend…we committed to the task of commitment. When you commit to that, it does not release or protect you from bumps and bruises.

It does not remove every obstacle.

It does not remove every hurt.

It does not remove every temptation.

It does mean that no matter what happens, at the end of the day we will NOT go to sleep being mad at one another (been some long nights in the Gary house (for you Denise))

It does mean that we will learn what it means to love one another and we learn something new everyday

It does mean that we will learn what it takes to raise the children God gave us.

It means we have entered His kingdom and we will be an asset to His kingdom (for you Royce, see I do listen)

It also means that we will make mistakes trying.

It also means we have to admit those mistakes

It means we will dance (huh girls?)

It means we will fall

It means we will get up

22 years and on our way to Isla Mujeres. Daughters that have accepted the responsibility of taking care of things (their little baby angel), friends that will be with us, friends that will be there if the girls need them, parents who will assist and God who will protect all of us.

22 years of dreaming

22 years and no bitterness

22 years, and we have no enemies (if you consider us an enemy, please forgive us and don’t tell us)

22 years of success

22 years of failure

22 years of love

22 years of DANCING!

My hope and prayer for each of you is this same life…I would not change a thing!

Go out today and DANCE!

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder

You get your fill to eat

But always keep that hunger

May you never take one single breath for granted

God forbid love ever leave you empty handed

I hope you still feel small

When you stand by the ocean

Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens

Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance

2010

As we begin 2010, I am reminded of New Year’s resolutions. On December 31, I heard, “I hope that my family draws closer to God this year”. Immediately upon hearing this, I began to feel unrest, curiosity, conviction and motivation. “Closer to God?” What does that mean? How do you measure that? Yes, I feel the same way! Yes, my life’s desire is to be closer to God. Yes, I want to have the same goal for 2010. However, is this statement just empty words that cause my friends to believe that I am somehow spiritual? Is it empty words that sooth my conscience and make me feel more spiritual?

The curiosity has fueled my search for what it means to “draw closer to God”. Jesus said “love me and love others”. Can I measure that? He left many answers in His word. Obviously, the answer is yes…therein lies my resolution for 2010. Yes, I accept the challenge to “draw closer to God”, and this is my prayer.

God, help me as I study your word and try to implement the fruits of the Spirit in my life. Reveal to me your unfailing mercy and grace as I try to understand and extend the same to others. Assist me as I struggle with selfishness and judgment. Remind me that You are the judge, You are the jury and You have instructed me to “love”. Give me direction as I try to follow You. Can I accept those that do not look like I expect them to look? You did. Can I love those that smell, judge, are rude, cut me off in traffic, slow me down in traffic, do me wrong, judge me, talk about me, ridicule me, don’t provide the level of service that I expect...? You did.

I really want to exhibit love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and temperance. I really want to love Him with all my heart, soul, mind and strength. I really want to love my neighbor as myself. I really want to do all those things; however, I must first understand what these things mean and how they are truly applied. On December 31, 2010, I will be able to measure my success in achieving new years resolutions. Do I understand more about what it means to “draw closer to God” and have I applied this understanding?

My Birthday

Today I celebrate 16,060 days of existence on this great planet. The day started with my wonderful girls (all 4 of them) singing to me and telling me they were proud of me. Spent time at lunch with special friends while enjoying Greek Salad and shrimp (no Irma’s). Awesome!! Came home to one of my favorite meals (with chocolate cake) and spent time enjoying the artwork and love of my girls.

I have received countless birthday wishes. As I began to reflect on those, I realized all over again how blessed I am. I have heard from people who have been friends since we moved to Houston when I was less than two years old. Heard from people who have become friends during this last year and acquaintances made in between.

Spent the day working in the office so I had the opportunity to reflect on every person as the birthday wishes came in. I remembered how every person has affected me in some way. With some, many memories have been made. With others, we have just started making memories. I think I am getting older (although I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up) because I get so sentimental when I realize how much those influences have molded me into the person I am today.

I am truly thankful for every experience and every memory and my prayer is that my influence will create memories for those around me that will make them smile as they have made me smile today. Now my girls have granted me one last birthday wish…control of the remote. Can anyone say Monday Night Football!!!!

My Mom

Mom,

Happy Mothers Day!

I have often thought about what I would say if I was ever asked to speak at a Mother Daughter Banquet and how I would say it without bawling like a little girl the whole time.

I would talk about Mary, the Mother of Jesus. I think about Mary and what type of lady she must have been. Knowing that so many attributes in our lives are displayed in the actions of our children, I consider her attributes. When I begin to think about those attributes my mind always goes back to you and how your life must resemble the life of Mary.

Caring – Jesus was so compassionate. He always made every situation better. He stopped and healed the sick; he took time for those who were not accepted by others, he handled disputes in a way that resulted in win-win, he taught and led and example. Jesus loved His children so much that He paid the ultimate price so they could experience undeserved Grace. He Cared! Mary must have really cared for those she came in contact with.
Mom, I have watched you for many years and I know you like few others do. You have stopped in the restroom and provided a damp washcloth, a gentle rub and a prayer while Tammye and I were so sick we thought we would not live. I have also seen you take the same care and compassion with kids that were not even yours. I have watched you be the Peacemaker in our family and in the lives of others. You have an incredible ability to say the right thing so a situation will calm. Tammye and I were close when we were younger and still are to this day. That is because our Mom worked hard to keep our family united. I have heard many people tell me they loved to stop by your office at the church and have “little talks” with Ma Gary. You teach everyone you come in contact with and you never want anyone to feel left out. You have always wanted to help everyone you can. You paid a great price to work in God’s Kingdom and make a difference. While others pursued successful careers, you worked to make a difference in the lives of a bunch of crazy kids. We all experience Grace today, in part because you were there to point us in that direction. I cannot think of anyone who cares for people anymore than you.

Organized – Mary must have been incredibly organized. She also had to possess incredible training skills. She was responsible for the Savior of the world. He had to be trained properly. He had to understand right from wrong; he would be tempted in every way after all. He needed to be responsible. He had to accept the consequences of His actions. When He could have called 10,000 angels, he accepted the responsibility that was ultimately His.
When Dad told me I could go to Florida with the youth but my car would set in the driveway with a busted engine. You could have persuaded him otherwise but you understood that there would come a day when Dad would not be there to bail me out and I needed to know responsibility. You set up at night waiting on Tammye and I to get home and then you would spend time listening to our lives and offering training so we would be prepared to face life. You have always had your “list” and I must admit that The List has made a difference in our lives. You never told us we had to have a list but you led by example and now my life sometimes (a lot of times) seems out of control and I refer to “My List” to get it under control. Many times I have been called to accept responsibility for my actions. You never tried to use position or influence to change the consequences. Instead you stood beside me, helped me, loved me and offered direction that would detour me from those actions in the future.

Enabler– Mary knew when He needed to be gently pushed. She also knew when it was time to step back and allow Him to be about His Fathers business. Looking back, I see many times that you could have diverted problems because you knew the outcome would be different than I expected. You knew it was time to step back. Wow, that must have been so hard! (I have kids now…) Because of those times, I have been able to learn invaluable life lessons. There have been times that you have made gentle suggestions and you have always encouraged me to pursue my legend. Mary enabled her Son to a point that He felt He could accomplish anything He set His mind to. And He was the greatest man that ever lived. Mom you have always made me feel like I could conquer the world if I set my mind to it.

Godly – Mary must have been the most godly lady on the face of the Earth. In fact, she was so godly that she was chosen to bear and raise the Savior of the entire world. I have been blessed to have a Mom that is an incredible example of what it means to be a Christ-follower. I have watched your life and learned how to love my enemies, forgive, keep silent (although some would say this is still a work in progress), walk away when it is best and most importantly, develop a relationship with God. “If you can’t say something nice do not say anything”, how many times? Kevin, do not say that. Kevin, treat others like you want to be treated. Bubb, you have to learn to control your temper and your tongue. Kevin, stand tall and be proud of what you are. Bubb, is that the way you really feel? Kevin, act like Jesus himself is in the room with you and base your actions on that. I know how to conduct myself in a Christ-like fashion because you led me by example.

Mom, I am certain that Mary was a very special and Godly lady. I am also certain that you and Mary have a lot in common except I think you would be a better Mom. Everyday I think about you and Dad and I hope that I am making you proud. I love you and I am so proud to call you my mother. Happy Mothers Day!